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02 Mar Posted by in Blog | Comments Off on Challenges

It has been a very humbling and challenging month.  Sorry that I’ve been radio silent for a while.  We’re okay, but it’s come with its costs.  I am still trying to overcome morning sickness, and that has made for some very difficult days, but especially evenings.  Dovy is trying to pick up the slack, but it’s been really rough for him.  I’ve never seen him so stressed and stretched thin.  I try my best, but it hasn’t been enough to keep him working as much as he needs to.

Unfortunately, this week, we had a major scare.  I woke up on Tuesday morning early, around 5AM.  I couldn’t go back to sleep.  I lay in bed for a really long time, awake for about an hour and a half before falling asleep around 6:30.  Dovy got up with the children and starting getting them ready for school.  I woke up about 7:30 and went to the restroom, hoping to rejuvenate with a shower.  I went to go to the restroom and found that I was bleeding profusely.  I was covered in it and started literally screaming for Dovy.  I was in tears and so upset.  There was so much blood that I thought I might be losing one or both of the babies.  We called my doctor immediately, who told us to come in within the hour.  We called friends and divided our children up, dropped Anjali off, and headed up to AF.

We went right in for an ultrasound, worried and stressed out.  Immediately we saw that both twins were moving, with excellent fluid levels, heartrates sound.  I was relieved but still so worried.  The tech took a while, very gently moving the sensor over my belly, trying to find the source of the bleeding.  It turned out that instead of one baby being on my left, and the other on the right, they had moved  quite a bit, and both babies were on my left, stacked up on top of each other.  Between where both placentas met, it could be seen that Baby A’s placenta was hemorrhaging.  My heart just hurt for Baby A.  They also found that I currently have placenta previa, which is when the placenta grows over the cervix.  It is a serious condition that may have contributed to this episode and possible further bleeding throughout the pregnancy.  The good news is that I am early in the pregnancy and the placenta can easy move as the babies grow.  We’re really hoping for that.  It was a really special experience to see the drastic change in placement of the babies.  The bottom of Baby B’s placenta was right on top of where the hemorrhaging of Baby A’s placenta was taking place.  It almost seemed like Baby B was trying to be there for Baby A, trying to protect it and love it, even in utero.  These babies are special and I pray that they get to come and be with us.  We already love them so much.

So many people have reached out to us.  I have been on a form of bedrest, known as “couch potato” by my doctor.  I shouldn’t be lifting much, only light walking is recommended, and I have to be careful so my kids or others don’t jar my tummy.  (My doc doesn’t do full bedrest because of the dangers of blood clots and atrophy, etc.)  People I haven’t seen in years have brought meals (our fridges and freezers are completely full!), others have watched my kids for hours on end, and still others have come and cleaned my house for me.  I can’t believe the love and strength I have received from the virtue of others.  I know of at least eight temples that our names have been put into.  People inside and outside of our religion have been praying for us over and over again.  I am so incredibly grateful for the love and support I have received.  I have been so humbled by the love I have felt, even from family and friends across the nation and the world.  Heavenly Father loves these babies.  I am happy to report that I am barely spotting at this point and have felt the babies move.  I have still had some Braxton-Hicks (pre-term smaller contractions) but they have really lessened.

We love our twins!  Our children here on earth have been incredible, as well, (mostly) listening to Mommy, helping around the house and showing me so much love every day.  Anjali had a dance competition yesterday, but my Young Women and the Relief Society President took Elli and Link for most of the afternoon so I could rest.  Dovy took Anjali and I took a much-needed nap.  I have ventured out of the house twice this weekend, both times using a wheelchair/electric cart to prevent overexertion.  (Yeah, I’m cool like that…)  We’re hanging in there and hoping for the best.  Continue praying for our little babies.  Meanwhile, I am getting bigger and more uncomfortable.  But I am grateful.  I love these babies and I love the experience of knowing I have two spirits inside my body, getting ready to come to earth.  (I also joke, “There are three hearts in my body!  That is so cool.  There are three stomachs in my body, too!  Wait?  Does that mean I’m a cow?”)  I hope they’ll be just fine and we’ll be holding them this summer!

Looking ahead, we’re hoping the placenta previa clears up so we don’t encounter any more bleeding, and that Baby A’s placenta is finished hemorrhaging.  It is completely possible that I could have another episode like this, but we’re really praying it won’t so that the babies remain healthy and are okay.  It could be very dangerous for Baby A (or either baby) if the placenta gets damaged again.  I’ve had to be very careful with my interactions with others and my kids, and as I have a lot of allergies, I’ve had to be careful sneezing, too (which I do at least 40-50 times a day.)  Sheesh.  Thanks again for all of your support.  We feel it!